by DW Green — July 20, 2021First, a thought about thoughts. A thought in itself is neither good nor bad, pleasant or unpleasant. It’s simply a thought, a spontaneous, self-arising thought.Courage does not mean absence of fear, but the willingness to surmount it—which when accomplished, reveals hidden strength and the capacity for fortitude. Fear of failure is diminished by realizing that one is responsible for the intention and effort but not the result, which is dependent on many other conditions and factors that are nonpersonal. And outside of our control.read more
by DW Green — July 14, 2021In 1997, a psychotherapist named Richard Carlson published a book called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff. It quickly became one of the fastest-selling books of all time and spent years on the bestseller lists, ultimately selling millions of copies in many languages.Whether you read the book or not, Carlson’s pity articulation of this timeless idea is worth remembering. Don’t spend your time (the most valuable and least renewable of all your resources) on the things that don’t matter. What about the things that don’t matter but you’re absolutely obligated to do? Well, spend as little time and worry on them as possible.If you give things more time and energy than they deserve, they’re no longer lesser things. You’ve made them important by the life you’ve spent on them. And sadly, you’ve made the important things—your family, your...read more
by DW Green — July 7, 2021The way we nervously worry about some looming bad new is strange if you think about it. By definition, the waiting means it hasn’t happened yet, so feeling bad in advance is totally voluntary. But that’s what we do: chewing our nails, feeling sick to our stomach, rudely brushing aside the people around us. Why? Because something bad might occur soon.The pragmatist, the person of action, is too busy to waste time on such silliness. The pragmatist can’t worry about every possible outcome in advance. Think about it. Best case scenario—if the news turns out better than expected, all this tie was wasted with needless fear. Worst case scenario—we were miserable for extra time, by choice.And what better use could you make of that time? A day that could be your last—you want to spend it in worry? In what other area could you make some progress while others might be sitting on the edges of their seat, passively awaiting some fate?Let the news come when it does. ...read more
by DW Green — June 29, 2021One of the most fundamental principles of martial arts is that strength should not go against strength. That is: don’t try to beat your opponent where they are strongest. But that’s exactly what we do when we try to undertake some impossible task we haven’t bothered to think through. Or we let someone put us on the spot. Or we say yes to everything that comes our way. Some people think that “choosing your battles” is weak and calculating. How could reducing the amount of times we fail or minimizing the number of needless injuries inflicted upon us be weak? How is that a bad thing? As the saying goes, discretion is the better part of valor. It’s called a reasoned choice. That means be reasonable! Think hard before choosing, and make yourself unbeatable. read more
by DW Green — June 22, 2021So, we’re in the throes of the NBA Championship. Since I Iive in Arizona, I’m rooting for the Phoenix Suns. They’ve never won an NBA Championship. They were in two Finals before, losing in 1976 and 1993.At five feet three inches tall, Muggsy Bogues was the shortest player ever to play professional basketball. (By comparison in this year’s playoffs, Atlanta Hawks star player Trae Young is 6 feet 1, and very small by NBA standards). Throughout his career, Muggsy was snickered at, underestimated, and counted out.But Bogues succeeded by turning his height into the very thing that made him nationally known. Some people looked at his size as a curse, but he saw it as a blessing. He found the advantages contained within it. In fact, on the court small size has many advantages: speed and quickness, the ability to steal the ball from unsuspecting (and significantly taller) players, to say nothing of the fact that players just plain underestimated him.Could this approach not be useful in your life? What things do you think have been holding you back that,...read more
by DW Green — June 16, 2021Psychologists speak of cognitive distortions—exaggerated thinking patterns that have a destructive impact on the life of the patient. One of the most common is known as all-or-nothing thinking (also referred to as splitting). Examples of this include thoughts like:
- If you’re not with me, you’re against me.
- So and so is all good/bad.
- Because this wasn’t a complete success, it is a total failure.